Tuesday, September 6, 2011

Snail and Slug

My emotions are at a really big high today.  One of my dearest and closest friends in high school 1977-1979 just capitulated and joined Facebook. Wow!!!!
Like everyone in life, we had gone our separate ways after high school, we sort of drifted apart during our senior year (my fault). Then as the years quickly passed and life took over I just dealt with what I needed to at the moment. This was my life just surviving one moment upon another. I didn't take the smart path.I didn't go to college. I didn't think much of myself.  I didn't think I was very smart. But I never forgot her. I can go back in my mind and see us chatting through the halls walking so slow savoring every moment together dragging behind until we gained the nic names Snail and Slug.. But which was I? I need to ask her...hmmmm
In 1999 I went back to school and discovered I was no dumb bunny. I graduated with a GPA of 3.85 and the only reason I did not do better was because of my sociology instructor He ruined my perfect 4.0 by giving me a C, he only rewarded one student per semester with an A and I was not that student. Still, I was on the Deans or Presidents list every semester I was in college...how did I not see that I was that smart? Why is youth spent in such a destructive cycle for some people.My son and I graduated the same year, him from high school me from college I was ready to gooo and discover what I could do then my son joined the military and life stood still for me.
He went into the Marine Corps and headed to Iraq. The stress and worry of him being in such danger took it's toll and  five years ago I was diagnosed with A.L.L. Leukemia , my prognoses was not very good. I didn't feel sick, I was just tired and I was in pain. I didn't consider death as an option and I think that is how I survived it all. I KNEW I was sick, but I didn't consider myself as being sick. I felt fine.
But surviving cancer and it's treatment is different then being sick, it puts a spin on your mind and how you see people and things. I want to go out and do the things I did before and my body won't let me. I am super slow. I get up in the morning with a plan of attack and find myself sitting all day behind my computer doing ...not much.
Through out it all I have had lots of time to reflect and decide what and who mattered most to me. Some things and people became intolerable. I saw some people who had been in my life like the cancer, they were selfish , self involved and hurtful, toxic. How did I not see it before? I started to cut them out. And it got better. But I never forgot my friends I had lost and I started to look for them.
Slowly I have found a few, Becky,Lily, Shirley and now my sweet Lia Ling. The only thing that would make this moment sweeter is if I could grab her and hug her to me. I never want to let her go again.
As an added surprise and bonus another of my friends was found today! Anne! I had reconnected
with her sister and brother in law some years ago but thought (wrongly) that she had no desire to talk to me. When in fact she had been looking for me all along! Wow what kind of day is this!!
Now to find Martha.... my circle will be complete

Cherish your loved ones and hold them tight, they are what is important.

2 comments:

Mike @ JustFindIt4U said...

What a beautiful article, I'm glad you found her! Facebook has allowed me to virtually hook up with friends from my past too, including some I hadn't spoken to in 30 years.

Kim said...

Isn't it wonderful Mike! And to find 2 in one day!