Saturday, January 7, 2012

When is it T.M.I.?

We have all experienced it, you know when you have something happen, you stub a toe and your best friend tells you about his sisters, ex-boy friends, best friends, neighbors, cousin who died because he stubbed his toe. The friendly helpful chatters go on and on not really paying attention or caring about the fact that they are scaring the beegeebers out of you.

When I was going through chemotherapy I knew my chances of survival were not very good because the Doctor already told me. Yet it seemed like everyone knew someone that died from leukemia and they told me about it. No one ever told me about the happy survivors.I had family members and childhood friends trying to get me to write goodbye letters to my children. When my son was in Iraq people told me about every Marine that was killed. I was so worried and scared. I couldn't stand it when the phone rang, and I refused to go to the door. I didn't want to see two Marines standing there, I begged my sister who was an Air Force Officer to watch him. If there was bad news I wanted her to tell me, I couldn't take it from a stranger. Thank God I never got that visit.

So why do people do this? Do they realize that they do it, I am sure at some point in my life I have done it too. The reason I bring this up is to bring it to your conscious thoughts. You never know the seeds of fear you are planting and I know that people are just trying to relate or be helpful. But the last thing someone needs to hear in a time of sorrow, fear or strife is bad stories about anyone else. 

A man I love dearly had me watch a video the other day, it was about healthy life styles and the foods we eat. It also quoted a status about people who were cured of cancer which was not very happy news. I promise that cancer is in my thoughts most of the time, I deal with it's after effects constantly. The fear that it will come back as leukemia or some other form of cancer is always present. And I guarantee you that it is the same for any other person that is or has fought a life altering illness no matter what it is.  Trust me we don't need statistic telling us so sad too bad.

If you want to tell stories find the ones about people who beat the odds, about the dad who carries his son through triathlons because it makes his son feel like he is flying. Tell them the stories that give them hope and makes them think , if they can do that I can do this. I think the reason I survived is it never occurred to me to believe I was going to die. I didn't feel as sick as I was, even when I couldn't walk and couldn't eat. Even during the most painful parts of my illness. I never once thought that this is too hard. I want to see my grandchildren and I pray that my God allows me to live to be a ripe old age and if he doesn't, I pray he takes me quietly and painlessly and with out stories about someone that went before me.