Thursday, November 17, 2011

Tough Love

I am never sure if tough love is tougher on the kids or the parents.
Why is it that we have to exude tough love in the first place?
I always wondered with my kids why they sometimes challenged me instead of
just trusting that I was not trying to get something over on them.

Especially my hard headed daughter that is nothing like me in any way shape or form....

Now do you want to buy my bridge? It's located in Brooklyn...I have to tell you though I appreciate my mom a whole lot more then I used to.
 I took years of psychology in college and I am no where near close enough in understanding the dynamics of my family then when I was born. It is constantly changing and once I decide I know where the little niches are they all shift on me.

As a mom I want my kids to be more successful and have more fun with their lives then I had with mine. I don't want them making the same mistakes and I tried to guide them into the places and around the obstacles that made me stumble as I grew into adulthood. But when I stood back and watched,  they did exactly the same things I did when I was their age. .

So why is it called tough love has never been tough to love my kids. It should be called yeah,my mom did this to me too so get used to seeing the walls in your room.You'll be spending a lot of time staring at them... too long? I think what it really means is harsh discipline for your willful child.

When do you stop calling it tough love? My thought is this, we never stop but it sort of slackens as our children get too old to interfere anymore. They still mess up like we all do from time to time but we parents either grow numb to it or pretend we don't notice. We like it, when they have children of their own, it's pay back. I think this is why so many grandparents sit back and smile when their offspring start having the same issues with their children. I also think this is why they give said grand children so much sugar and loud toys then send them home to mom and dad all hyped up on  legal stimulants... it's that old mom curse in action only they make sure there is gonna be action. They don't look as sweet anymore do they girls... It has been my suspicion that it is for this reason only that our parents and grand parents encourage us to get married and have children of our own. They secretly enjoy the satisfaction of the ultimate revenge when they see us squirm through the teen age/ young adult phases in the lives of our children.

Boy I think it is time for a glass a wine  and a movie... what say you?