Wednesday, September 21, 2011


I somehow acquired a splinter in my foot.

When Rick, kneeled down to peck and poke trying to do his duty and find the dumb thing.
Something that is quite hard for him, because he REFUSES to wear his glasses.

Let me explain,In his mind he still has 20/20 vision and to put on the prescribed spectacles would undoubtedly
make him older then his mind is ready to allow. So for the last two or three years. I harp and he ignores my "GO GET THOSE GLASSES ON!" command. So for now,I read the menu's to him and fill out all forms. In fact I read just about everything that is less then an adjustable arms length. 

Anyway, here he was poking and me saying OWWWWIEEE... Suddenly he shrieks in pain, rises halfway up and lunges a good 3 feet in the opposite direction from where he had been positioned. Now I would like to say that this is unusual for my Mr. but he is prone to dramatics. When we were first married I used to think he was choking to death when he sneezed or coughed. He should have been an actor really. But the suddenness of this attack caught me off guard. Instantly a tiny brown ball of fuzz launched upward and to the right of me, hissing hysterically.

I am trying to take this all in as my calm and always sensitive husband rises and proceeds to try and smash the dickens out of the cat. Which disappeared quicker then Rick's 53 year old body could respond...He was ready to go on a seek and destroy mission when I said WHOA, HAULT what's up?

It seems while he was looking for said splinter this cat escaping from my beloved Paint decided Ricks back was the path to safety and launched herself (all fours) on his back. He insisted he must be bleeding to death...While I did not have to apply any sort of medical first aid he did have four perfect sets of scratches down his lower back.

My daughter really gave  that cat the right name: Xaynee... 

I would like to say that his was the first attack on my husband by this cat but alas it was not. She used to do a sweet little trick, you patted your chest and she would jump up. For unknown reasons, she loves to hang out in the bathroom with us. One day as Rick was getting out of the shower and drying off. We suddenly heard a string of utterances not really words. Shrieked from the bathroom. This was followed with a bang. I headed to the bathroom, on my way there I was almost run over by the aforementioned cat. She was just a brown blur really, I wasn't sure it was her.I knew something had passed by fast because I heard it hit the wall at the bottom of the stairs. I opened the bathroom door, I knew I was going to find him lying dead on the floor from a heart attack or something just as bad. There he stood dying himself off looking at me like Vinny Barbarino..."what?" was his only explanation. It ends up, as he was patting his chest dry she took her cue to JUMP! Yep...scared the crap out of both of them and she won't perform that trick anymore. She seems to like to startle him , I did not see her the rest of that day!...